This is what he really means when he says…, man translations and how to respond to demonstrate high value.
Standing in a space of deep self-respect and being grounded in our boundaries in dating is the key to creating high levels of attraction, this is how you become a natural challenge and resist coming across as too easily captivated, which often ruins the mystique that we are building, men don’t want a woman who is too easily won, even though they may say things like “I would love it if a woman chased me!” often when they actually get that they are repelled and they end up going after a more challenging woman.
Generally, what men say they want is completely different to what really inspires them in reality to fall deeply in love with a woman, this is because most guys don’t understand their own subconscious motivations, only their conscious ideals, which means that when he gets what he wants he simply feels that something is not right, even if he can’t verbalise what is going on internally, he experiences a loss of attraction but can’t explain it logically.
From the moment we meet someone there is a lot happening on a subconscious level which determines whether strong attraction will be built and sustained or whether it will start to dwindle and fizzle out gradually from there, this is why I so often hear the phrase “but he was so amazing in the beginning, what happened?” sadly, in most cases this process happens without us even realising it, we are just focusing on enjoyment and attention rather than learning and understanding what is taking place on a psychological level.
Many people feel that dating is a minefield these days and they’re right, there are a lot of people in their egos, dating with wounds that need healing or dating for their own satisfaction and validation without even considering what they have to offer, dating can be very painful, a lot of women feel that often a mans interest falters before they have even really got started allowing him to know who she is, which is why so many women are throwing in the towel and resigning themselves to life as a single woman indefinitely. Yet, love can be so extraordinary when it works, all you need to do is understand how to shift into the correct mindset and learn how to hit the right emotional triggers and you can succeed beyond your greatest expectations. It doesn’t have to hurt, you just have to date smart.
Even day to day conversation can not only reveal a lot about a man’s real character, but it can also give you an opportunity to demonstrate that you are a once in a lifetime woman so that he will take the connection seriously and keep investing himself.
There are particular phrases, statements and questions that women get from men and ask me about on a daily basis, which are a lot more loaded than they seem and often serve to tell a guy a lot about us, these statements seem innocent, and we often respond innocently too, not realising that we may be displaying low value even though we are not low value at all! This is because sometimes enforcing the standard we expect and the boundaries that come with it can feel unnatural to us, all we want is to be accepted and liked, so we make things as easy as we can, but this, in reality becomes a big attraction killer. The more we strive to be easy-going to more likely we are to lose a man’s respect and desire.
Note: this does not mean we should be combative or rigid in dating, dating should be fun! It’s just so worth being mindful of what we are putting out there energetically and being sure we are remaining true to ourselves.
Self-love first angel. This is a continuation of the “How men test, how to protect yourself and have him convinced you're his dream woman” Masterclass which you can read here, this series will teach you how to avoid the little mistakes in dating that lead to you getting marginalised or place-holdered, or even ghosted, experiencing a frustrating loss of attraction. So if you haven’t checked out the how men test masterclass yet, go there first. These classes with turn you in an attraction ninja so you know exactly how to drive any man wild, all while observing if the guy has the substance for you to create a wonderful future together.
So often, the subtext of a text message statement or question is different to how it appears on the surface, so I’m going to break down some of the most common ones and translate to teach you how to respond so that you always demonstrate high value and continue to build attraction. This tells him early on that he is dealing showstopper and not someone that he can simply toy with.
What does it really mean when he says “hey you never text me” “you’re weird” or “I’m happy to go with the flow and see what happens” or if he texts "wyd?" several times a week, you’re about to find out the answer to these and many other common phrases in dating in this 16 page masterclass.
Some of my answers may surprise you, there may be some statements or questions that you assume are a red flag that really aren’t and some that seem innocent but tell you so much about a man’s real intentions. I know that every woman reading this will have heard at least a handful of these statement/questions and it may blow you away to discover what was really going on during those moments.
Men generally enter into situations expecting rejection, so we are not trying to be too hard on them or to create impossible standards for them to live up to, but it is also very important to understand this stuff, so that you can protect yourself…
“Why don’t you text me? Girl you aint ever text me” etc
I am looking for quick validation, and I want to make sure you like me so that I can relax.
This is one of the most common ones that I hear and it sounds innocent, perhaps in some cases it is, we all want to feel wanted, and to create a relationship that is balanced and equal, most women take this at face value and decide it is reasonable, so they begin to initiate more, but in many cases a woman finds that when she does start putting a bit more effort into texting that he seems preoccupied or doesn’t respond as warmly as she expected, which is confusing.
In a way this can be a good sign, because it means you are creating enough mystery for him to feel an urge to accelerate the process with you, which is amazing, anticipation is a huge aspect of attraction, but you do need to keep your feet on the ground and look at it objectively.
Usually, this statement quite simply means that he is seeking some sort of indication of your interest, to validate him.
You need to be paying attention to where the guy is at when he makes this statement or request. If you barely know him, he is a low effort guy who only hits you up here and there, if he hasn’t really invested much in terms of dates and getting to know you in a real way then stay aware, this might be a situation where he is testing to see if you’ll accept a “convenience guy” this is where he gradually encourages you to put in more effort so he can focus on building other options for himself.
Now, he has a right to build other options if you have just met and are both single, but if he is training you to do the work so he is free to pursue other things it’s a red flag, a man who is sincerely interested won’t mind proving himself, often if we fall for this we find a guy taking his foot off the gas and doing less to earn our engagement, then it’s very difficult to back up because we have already set a precedent for the effort level we are willing to give.
A worthy guy might realise that being validated would feel good, but he will be happy to pursue.
How to handle it
Tell him “Hey, that’s a good point, I should text more!” then do nothing differently.
Don’t allow yourself to be tricked into chasing him. If he wants to move things forward, he can contact you, by making this statement you are not promising that you will text more, you are just congratulating him on a good observation, while refusing to mould your behaviour to impress him…