Did I mess things up by sleeping with him too soon?

There is tons of controversy around the topic of when a dating situation can or "should" turn physical, and even among psychologists and dating coaches there is division about that first sexual encounter and when it can/should occur, some say any time from the first date, others say wait three months! There is so much confusion around the issue that a lot of women become anxious, asking questions like "Will he lost interest if I give it up too soon? will he get bored if I don't?" So we are going to take a down to earth look at when you can/should sleep with a man you are dating.

I interviewed dozens of men about sex and the results were interesting indeed! It seemed most guys fell in to one of two schools of thought:

-The first group said that they would not feel less interested or judge a woman at all for having sex with him early in dating and that it would have no impact on his feelings for her long term as long as the connection was good. -The second seemed more cautious, stating it could potentially change how he feels, ie make him take her less seriously long term, although less men responded this was I did see it crop up often enough to highlight. Another very honest guy told me that when he sleeps with a woman is completely irrelevant, that he had previously chased women for months, wining and dining them, just to lose interest immediately after sex, and in contrast he had slept with women early and kept dating them for months. When I asked him to elaborate he said that sometimes when a woman withheld the physical aspect from him purposely it became more about the challenge to get her in to bed, rather than developing the connection with her, often by the time he did make it to the bedroom he felt burnt out and often found the whole thing an anti climax. (It seemed this man was more distubed with sensing game playing from the woman than waiting for intimacy.) Other men disagreed with this though. Very interesting!

So what should you do?

Firstly don't worry, if anything every guy and every situation is different, so why stress about it? You might as well just enjoy yourself and do whatever comes naturally to you. Women are allowed to love sex too!

The key though is to understand that physical attraction and sex are not what motivate men into a committed relationship, although men too, can bond through physical intimacy, it is important to remember that building emotional attraction primarily, is essential to ensuring the connection has the best possible chance of succeeding long term, without this ingredient many connections fall flat quickly. How to build emotional attraction and safeguard the connection? Contact me now for a coaching session and I will teach you about the psychological triggers that inspire men to feel devotion and not just desire. click here

You can also arm yourself more in dating by getting honest about the type of woman you are and the type of man you are dating.

Firstly: Are you the type of woman that can handle casual intimacy? Some women are fine with being sexually expressive and not getting attached, others including myself prefer to take our time and build a connection before getting to the bedroom.

Secondly: what type of guy is he? steady, and commitment focused?

Or is he more of an alpha type with a player reputation? if so it is probably going to take more than casual sex to hook his interest and it might be worth building something more first.

If you are the type of woman who is only vaguely interested in a man but really bonds emotionally after sex, it's worth taking your time, if you are pretty unaffected no worries...

My personal opinion as a coach is that we should take the focus off the man, what he wants and "what will keep him interested" because it is irrelevant when it comes to when to have sex, sex is not a bargaining chip that can be withheld and redeemed for love, nor is it something we should encounter on a whim, it is simply a natural part of life and something to be shared with someone special, sexual energy is precious and as much fun as casual encounters can be, we should be discerning about who we share that energy with, I personal have found the physical aspect of dating much more if we have spent a lot of time laughing and talking and sharing experiences together first. That said I have friends and clients who happily got intimate very fast and found themselves with a soul mate.

What if he pulled away after sex? There are a multitude of reasons why some men pull back after the first physical encounter, it doesn't always indicate by default that "he only wanted sex" the reasons can be hormonal, emotional or societial, sometimes men respond to a shift in your energy after the first encounters, it can also be challenging to communicate effectively when the connection doesn't have a strong foundation yet. If you are dealing with this or feel that you are re- living the same pattern, get in touch now. Deep attraction and connection does not hinge upon sex alone, there are other factors that carry just as much, if not more weight than the sexual magnestism between two people. Thankfully, this is very simple to master, once you know how. There is a rarely a one size fits all answer to any dating or relationship situation thats exactly right for you, what is right for one woman, may not be for the next. this is why one on one coaching with a relationship consultant can be an amazing way to get insight in to your own personal situation.

Want to create an effortless connection where you are pursued with intention and consistency?

Grab your session now while there are places available

I can teach you:

♡ How to keep him naturally in pursuit mode and moving the connection forward

♡ How to inspire commitment effortlessly - without chasing, convincing, or overextending

♡ How to understand masculine psychology and the deeper fears that can block commitment

♡ What truly inspires a man to see a woman as rare, unforgettable, and deeply valuable

♡ How to create a connection that feels emotionally magnetic and impossible to replace

♡ How to avoid the pattern where men come on strong only to fade away - and instead inspire lasting attraction

♡ How to remain soft, receptive, and adored without abandoning yourself in the process

…and so much more.