Red pill dating "techniques" are a phenomena that have popped up in recent years as part of the dark side of dating culture, that some men, (often young, impressionable or dejected men) are subscribing to as a way to get the upper hand with women, the idea is to train in methods on how to keep women disempowered using toxic games, exaggerated arrogance and contrived unpredictability in order to come out on top in dating.
What concerns me most is that sometimes women don't spot this red flag and actually get sucked into trying to impress these guys, mostly to their own detriment. If you haven't heard of red pill dating or the so called "high value man" (a term that has been distorted and inverted by weak males with a victim mentality, who feel the need to resort to manipulative and insecure games to be considered as dating potential) then I am going to bring you up to speed and arm you with some of the signs that you might be dealing with a devotee of the red pill cult.
The red pill movement is summarised by men who preach f#cking with the minds of beautiful women and getting money above all else.
They chase status and admiration like it's oxygen.
They believe in serving only themselves
They believe the measure of high value is having a designer suit or a decent career even if they have no substance, kindness, or personality (especially if they don't)
They "qualify" women with number scores based only on the woman's physical appearance and financial status
They expect a woman to jump through hoops to impress them, to buy them gifts and do the running while they purposely blow hot and cold to manipulate her
They ask questions like "what do you bring to the table?" on a date.
They believe that cheating and sleeping around is completely acceptable, yet the woman should remain faithful and worship him or he will punish her.
They call themselves "real men" "alpha" or "high value" when clearly they are anything but.
They believe in dropping off purposely to make a woman insecure and crave his attention when he decides to grant it to her.
They pride themselves on "being mean" to get what they want, they believe being cut throat is strength.
They clearly hate women and misuse people consciously.
They require you to prove that "you're not like the others" while eroding your sense of self worth and self value to benefit themselves.
They are obsessed with demonising a woman's "body count" but celebrate their own
If you identify that a guy you are dating is a fake alpha male in training or he subscribes to red pill dating or watches Kevin Samuels, then please take it as a huge red flag and run, run as if you are running from a fire, trust me.
Over the past few months, a few women have asked me about Kevin Samuels videos and what my thoughts on them were, Kevin Samuels is one of the main philanderers of this movement.
Since the time of writing this article Kevin Samuels has passed away. However the concepts described here are still valid and are still being adopted in dating culture to the detriment of women.
although I had seen the videos come up in passing I hadn't given them any attention, so my husband and I decided to watch them and make some notes, at first we were in fits of laughter and found it very funny... until it wasn't anymore, until it was just sad and disturbing.
The first video I clicked on showed Kevin at a desk surrounded by dozens of bizarre trinkets, I swear the link for his Cashapp flashed up seventeen times before he even got to outlining the subject of the video, obviously not a con man (laughs) "Hey suckers send me a few dollars so I can surround myself with more tacky crap" I joked, my husband instantly shot back: "Omg do you know what this reminds me of! Homer Simpsons website, you know, where he just put tons of different gifs together to create a web page because he had no idea what he was doing? That's this video!" I burst into laughter knowing exactly what he meant. Kevin then went on a rant about how people shouldn't "judge his content" I asked myself: "What content? all I see is a conceited and self important beggar ranting non sensical gibberish with his hand out for donations".
We clicked on another video, Kevin was harshly and cruelly questioning a young woman and scoring her a six out of ten.. what? he actually gives women numerical scores, ok...this particular woman maybe hadn't made the greatest life choices and she was honest about it, but to score her this way was demeaning and painful to watch. He went into a speech about how she should lower her expectations and stop hoping to find a decent quality man. He also drags women who are unemployed, single mothers or those perhaps struggling with low self esteem into his videos to humiliate them publicly, he lectures them also on how they are supposedly below average and will never have a decent relationship, it’s so cringe and often offensive to watch, some of these women could raise their game if they wanted to, but it genuinely saddened me that he found it acceptable to be so derogatory to random women just to get more hits and a few more dollars in his cash app.
The other videos we clicked on were frankly sickening woman-hating-rants, we turned them off and I started to consider performing an exorcism to get this toxic crap out of my search algorithms.
Loosely summarised, his philosophy appears to be that women should live in absolute servitude to men, she should cook, clean, serve, not speak unless spoken to, she should buy the man an expensive suit, be happy to endure abuse and neglect and treat him like a God to be worshipped, the woman should also be PHD educated, in high employment and of course look smell and dress like a super model. He obviously expects her to get down and dirty whenever he demands, regardless of how off putting he may be, as far as I can tell he doesn’t advocate any sort of respect towards the woman, he states that she should turn a blind eye to his cheating, all because he is “high value” now from what I can tell being high value means only that you earn a high income, it has nothing to do with being a decent human being, a caring or loyal person, or even having a hint of a personality or desire to please your woman back. He then has the nerve to preach about a woman's expectations.
Unfortunately though there are men who are lapping this mentality up, believing that if they follow charlatans like this look that they will have more success with women and life in general. I hate to break it to the men out there, but successful males are too busy building great careers and enjoying fulfilling relationships to be sitting alone watching Kevin Samuels. Kevin is a predator, preying on men and women who are tired of being hurt in dating or feeling left on the side lines.
This is literally the academy for wounded (or sometimes toxic men) to call themselves high value and honestly it's sad because it won't lead them to happiness, either they will attract narcissistic spectrum women who are only interested in their money, or women who have lost their self esteem and self love. No strong vibrant woman who vibes with all she has to offer, with strong self esteem and a platinum personality is going to be able to take any guy who thinks this way, seriously.
Any confident woman who is asked what she brings to the table at dinner, is going to instinctively leave the man eating alone at that table.
The men pushing this sort of materialistic self obsessed drivel have a wish to diminish a woman's value for their own selfish sense of control, because secretly they feel helpless and lost when it comes to attracting women, they are not interested in true love, only power, generally because they don't know how to relate to women in a sincere way and because they view relationships in terms of acquisition rather than shared mutual experiences, shared growth and support, or finding a best friend that is also your lover, Kevin Samuels wants an asset and a trophy, not a life partner.
People like this are completely blocked around the heart chakra, they don’t know joy, or understand deep purpose and meaning, or true love, Kev is like a soulless entity which is why I can’t endure his videos. He is only capable of viewing success in terms of superficial materialism.
Also I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but if you look deeper at the psychology behind red pill teachings, which include: training women to chase, putting yourself on a pedestal, interviewing her for potential, expecting gifts and to be spoilt, something becomes glaringly apparent...
Red pill dating concepts teach men how switch from their masculine energy into the feminine energy or yin role. Break this down and you will see these men are being taught how to work the traditional feminine stereotype disguised as new age masculinity. Woman are simply not going to feel polarised by that and men will gradually find their testosterone diminishing and depression setting in.
I have genuine sympathy for men who have been dragged through relationships with toxic women, or have found that being a nice guy got them played, just as I have complete sympathy for any woman who is a victim of the red pill dating mentality. The saddest part is that red pill or so-called "alpha" schemes teach men and women to view each other as enemies, rather than seeking to understand each others emotional nuances better so that we can bridge the gaps that have only been growing bigger in recent years. It does nothing to help any of us.
Suffering through challenges in dating and relationships is often a painful but necessary part of life, and it is picking ourselves up, figuring things out and putting ourselves back together better than before, that brings us to a place where we become truly deserving and smart about what it takes to obtain and keep a blissful relationship. Some things are hard earned but absolutely worth it, that's how you become high value, so please, whether you are a man or a woman, step away from these false prophets and take some time to do the real work, to put time and love into yourself and raise your vibration, rather than your game.
Manipulation is the mask of the weak minded, it takes true strength and courage to be real with others, even at the risk of being misunderstood or getting hurt.
I guess I have to hand it to Kevin though, it takes next level narcissism to repackage being a self centred ass clown into something desirable you can sell to the masses, and for that only, I rate him ten out of ten.
Jade Isabelle is a certified life coach and relationship consultant with over fifteen years experience in the field. She is a wife and mother of three kings, living in the UK, you can book a confidential, compassionate and no nonsense coaching session with her here