Updated: Feb 10
Every girl has driven herself crazy at some point with the "does he like me?" dilemma and honestly I have seen so much advice given on this matter that has nothing to do with a guys sincere interest, which only confuses women further. For example I have seen videos and articles claiming that if he says a particular phrase to you, he likes you...then, a lot of women become disheartened when his actions just don't back that up. I have come across guides advising that a guy will immediately approach a woman he likes and make a move which is often untrue too.
You may be analysing a particular thing a man in your life said or did, asking yourself what it means. But honestly ladies we really do make a simple situation more complicated by over analysing. He really isn't that complicated and when you understand a mans deeper motivations his actions will become obvious to you. All you need to do is bide your time and observe. If a man is displaying most or all of the signs below I can pretty much guarantee he likes you...
Watch his proximity –
The most obvious sign of romantic interest is when he is always around or finds reasons to contact you, even if it is just to share a quick laugh or make small talk with you, in fact the more random his reasons for reaching out the more likely it is that he likes you. Most guys try not to make this too obvious, but if you notice he regularly pops up in your inbox and notifications, or he just always seems to show up where you are, take note.
He finds reasons to touch you or be close-
Similarly, a man who is attracted to you will feel compelled to be close physically, now this may be subtle but if he looks for opportunities to hug you or he often brushes up close to you, it’s because he can’t help it, he is attracted and is compelled to get closer. You may notice he sits at a distance but moves closer and closer as he gets more confident, If in a group situation if he always tries to find ways to sit or stand close to you it’s probably not just because he sees you as a good friend.
He tunes in with your moods-
He quickly senses when you are having a bad day or if you seem a little quiet compared to usual, he takes it upon himself to try and cheer you up or make you laugh. He may ask if you have eaten and show his more nurturing side. This is an indication that he’s not just thinking about himself anymore, but that your needs are starting to matter to him.
He actually wants to hear about your problems and emotions-
Yes seriously, in addition to noticing your disposition, he won’t be frightened off by your occasional "down days" or the times when you feel a bit stressed, in fact his instinct will be to help in some way, to try and get you sharing your thoughts or by boosting you up and reminding you how amazing you are. You won't hear excuses or feel abandoned by a man who genuinely likes you.
He remembers things-
It may be that he remembers your favourite song or food even though you only mentioned it in passing, or a story you told him then relay it somehow. Back when I first met my partner I had an important meeting one week, I barely even remembered telling him about it, but on the day I got a text from him at 8 am wishing me good luck, I’m pretty sure that was the first time I stopped and asked myself if he liked me, even though it would have already been obvious had I been paying attention. This sort of thing is a huge sign of interest.
He becomes very thoughtful-
Men become surprisingly attentive when they like a woman, you will know he likes you when your comfort and enjoyment becomes his priority, whether it’s making sure your drink is topped up, or by planning activities and dates that are much more geared towards your enjoyment than his own. A guy who likes you will probably even happily sit through chick flicks or listen to music he would never normally entertain just because your happiness has become important to him and he gets to spend time with you.
Generally if he's always happy to do that bit extra for you it shows that he cares a lot.
He is consistent-
So many women overlook this but consistent investment in the pursuit is one of the greatest indicators of true interest, if a man makes you feel great for one night then vanishes for weeks just to boomerang back and start over, then he probably isn’t that interested, a man who likes you may not be in contact every day but he will be compelled to speak to you regularly and will ask to see you consistently too. If he truly likes you he won’t want enough distance to grow that you could lose interest or meet someone else. Furthermore if a guy really likes you, you won't hear player type excuses like "Hey why haven't you text me?" or "when are you coming to see me?" he will enjoy making an effort with you.
He teases you-
In the early days a guy may not want to put himself out there too much too soon by blatantly flirting with you, so most will casually tease you instead. Understand that he will never do or say anything hurtful but if he playfully teases you often, he wants your attention on him and the more direct flirting will soon follow.
He cares what you think of him-
Although he might be playful and tease you, he will also want you to take him seriously as a person and as a man, he is likely to emphasise his caring side more, he will start to announce his dreams and goals to you, he will be keen to smooth over any misconceptions you have about him quickly. Your opinion starts to be more important to him, he asks your thoughts on situations in his life or is willing to take advice and insight from you. This is a vulnerable position for a guy so if your opinion and view is being given increasing importance to him then so are you.
He's a little bit jealous-
He probably won’t show glaringly obvious jealousy but he might, at the very least he tries to change the subject when you mention other men, alternatively when he mentions other women he may add comments like “Don’t worry she is just a friend” to reassure you, this is a big tell-tale sign that he is in to you.
He turns in to a protective bear around you-
He can’t stand back when someone is rude to you, he makes a point to side with you and support you in difficulty. Even in a calm debate he is always willing to defend your position, his natural protective instincts become obvious and your safety and well being is never far from his mind. He hates to see you upset or unhappy.
He’s not embarrassed about his affection for you-
He doesn’t make you feel compartmentalised from his life, he is proud to know you, he may even show you off a little. If friends or family tease him he brushes it off easily and isn’t too affected by the opinions of others, when a man likes you he “softens” becomes more openly loving, less phased by others and far more interested in what is developing between you, he will keep progressing things with you in small but measurable ways.
He may act nervous or shy-
You might notice he seems quiet or nervous at times around you, combined with the other signs this is because he doesn’t want to mess up or possibly reveal his hand too quickly, usually you can feel the intensity and tension coming from a man who is interested even when he is quiet, he will still make sure he is showing you significance but as his feelings deepen his uncertainty about whether it’s really reciprocated will become more pronounced.
He opens up-
He welcomes you gently in to his inner world and starts to more easily share personal feelings and thoughts, he wants you to know him more deeply and he is really starting to trust you. He begins to introduce you to the things he likes, he wants you to know what makes him who he is.
He tries to make you laugh-
Some guys are very funny naturally but if he always seems to be trying to make you laugh specifically, then he probably likes you, even if he isn’t much of a comedian he will send you funny memes or tag you in jokes that he knows you will like. He knows that when he makes you laugh often you associate those good feelings with him.
He makes time for you even when he is busy-
Even when he is slammed at work or is dealing with a crisis in his life, he still finds time to send you a quick text or give you a call, even when his mind and schedule are full he still makes a space for you because you truly matter to him.
He offers to pay-
Some may not find this “politically correct” and trust me I’m not old fashioned, if a man buys me dinner I will happily offer to pay for the movie or drinks on a date, however men are very sensitive to the idea of ending up in the “friend zone” with a woman they like, so by at least offering to pay he makes it clear that they are not just hanging out as friends and that he sees their time together as something he wants to invest in.
His compliments become less basic-
Any man can tell you that you look hot or sexy but when a guy really likes you he will look deeper, and as a result his compliments will become more specific too, he may tell you he admires your ambition towards your career, that he likes the way you are wearing your hair that day or that he finds you intelligent and really enjoys talking to you.
Some strong physical indicators of interest are when he smiles a lot and always seems to be in a really good mood around you.
In a group situation whenever everyone laughs he makes eye contact with you, or when he has said something funny he checks your reaction first. He uses these moments as an opportunity to connect with you.
You will notice his body language is generally angled towards you, either he faces you squarely or he angles his feet towards you, he may sit with his legs open in your direction without even really being aware of it. He becomes attentive to you whenever you speak.
You might also notice him being nicer and more helpful towards other people in your presence, he wants you to know that he is a good guy.
If he can and its appropriate he will probably try to dance with you, dancing is a mating ritual, Girl, by moving those hips so seductively he's telling you "Look baby I would be great in bed!"
Simply put it is so obvious when a man likes you, you won't need to pluck a daisy asking "does he like me or does he like me not?" one of the biggest indicators of how someone feels about you is how they make you feel about yourself. If you feel happy relaxed and wanted around a man then he probably adores you, but if you feel discontent, anxious and easily forgotten, that speaks for itself, Believe me when I say you deserve better than that.
Jade Kelly is a Certified Life Coach and Relationship Consultant based in the UK, She has over a decade of experience in helping women to build confidence in themselves and attraction with men. You can contact us now to book a session by phone, from the comfort of your own home or on the go!